A friend from Aikido asked me how I managed to write my book. He was planning to write a book himself and couldn’t get started. What was it I did?
I struggled to remember exactly what I had done but then, of course, remembered the NLP principle that everything starts with an outcome (goal) and the question is: “What do I want?”
I asked him what his outcome was in writing this book and he replied that it was about getting people to change how they thought about architecture.
I told him that this wasn’t a well formed achievable goal as it was dependant on what other people did or what he and his book got other people to do.
A well formed goal cannot be dependant on what someone else does as they may not do it.
It had to be about what he wanted and could do to influence others in such a way as they would then think about things differently. He needed to start where others were, match or acknowledge that and then begin to lead them in some way.
This is the structure of influence. Match, match and then lead. It is also the same principle in Aikido. Match which is called “Awase” and from there you can lead them by catching or effecting their balance and then it is much easier to execute a technique or throw.
There is a process called: “Well Forming an Outcome” that you can find in my book “Mutual Mindfulness”.