Verbal Rapport

I have been researching some internet software and listening to webinars.

These, mostly but not exclusively, guys have spent a lot of time and money developing systems for marketing on the net and are obviously trying to sell that system via their webinars.

They are very successful at making money on the net and are excited about presenting their product and making even more money. One of the things they are good at is talking having done lots of public presentations and webinars. From what I have been taught on NLP Trainer Training programmes I wouldn’t say they present in the most effective way but hey they are making lots of sales and money.

However, the one thing  I have noticed about most of these entrepreneurs on webinars is that they talk fast, very fast, and I struggle to keep up with them and what they are saying. More than that, I feel rather frustrated. How they are talking has a negative effect on how I feel. Why is that?

Yes, why is that, I hear you cry? What makes them talk so fast? Is it because they are so excited about what they are presenting or perhaps they are nervous.

Well, most NLP trained people will know the answer to that question but most other people will not know and may think well that’s just the way they are.

No, not the case. In my book: “Mutual Mindfulness”

I talk about the difference between identity, who we are, and behaviour, what we are doing. Speaking very fast is not who they are, it is what they are doing and therefore they can change or adjust what they are doing. We are not fixed.

I had a friend who said he was pushy as if that’s the way he is and nothing can be done about it, but it is what he is doing not who he is and can therefore be changed. I suspect some people are happy to stay how they are and expect everyone else to make the effort to adjust to them.

Let’s examine this. The only way we can get information from the world around is through our senses. There is no other way and the interesting thing is that people do that in different ways. Yes we use all our senses but we have developed our abilities in one or two of these senses.

Some people, like myself, process information more through our feelings and we tend to be slower at doing that. Someone who uses the visual channel more tends to process information faster and this means they will probably talk quite fast.

Put them on a stage where they are presenting and selling their own product and they are excited about that, then they talk really fast.

Someone like me cannot keep up with that but also feel bad because it is a mismatch . They are fast, we are slower, a mismatch and as I mention in my book,  good communication and rapport with others is created by matching.

If a presenter is aware of this they can slow down a bit, not so slow that it then mismatches all those who process visually but slow enough so everyone can keep up. They can also check by asking the audience if they are keeping up OK.

Remember: “The meaning of your communication is the response you get”. If people are not keeping up and are pissed off, you need to adjust what you are doing so you bring along everyone in the audience and possibly get even more business.

“Mutual Mindfulness”