Disappointment Requires Adequate Planning

This is the second explanation of some NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) principles from my book “Mutual Mindfulness”, http://amzn.to/2LxVxFU  for the benefit of those who may not have any knowledge of NLP

In NLP terms the business/activity of being a football fan/supporter, going to matches and suffering or enjoying the experience, is not a well formed outcome (goal) because you are relying on what someone else does to achieve your outcome.

I’m presuming that most people want their team to win and that is really out of their hands (and feet) how well they do.

I suppose it could be argued that fans support is vital for their team to perform well, in which case you could have an outcome to be the loudest, funniest, rudest and most musical, which is generally within your power.

Here comes the “but”. Most people go to matches or watch football on a TV desperately wanting their team to win. I know someone who actually screams at the TV set as if that makes a difference. Makes a difference for him, I guess, hoping and expecting their team to win and so disappointed when they don’t. So build up your hopes and expectations and be ready to be disappointed.

A fan’s ability to have any affect on the result is minimal as they are totally dependant on what others do and this may not be enough to win. Achieving their outcome and what that does for them, i.e. how they feel is out of their hands.

Therefore going to a football match is a good way to experience extremes of emotions. First of all there is an expectation and hope (belief) your team can win.

Then we have the ongoing fluctuation of emotions such as:

  • Extasy
  • Happiness
  • Frustration
  • Helplessness
  • Outrage
  • And let’s not forget disappointment. Disappointment requires adequate planning

The slow motion shots of football crowds are an excellent example of this:

  • People jumping up and throwing their arms in the air
  • Their mouths gaping
  • Eyes wide open
  • Roaring of approval

These are all similar behaviours to animals, particularly predators and those animals that fight for survival, dominance and control.

We also see the opposite:

  • The clutching of bowed heads
  • Groans of disappointment
  • Disapproval
  • Frustration
  • Anger

Remember the football violence scenes. All of this is not confined to large stadia with amazing atmospheres. Just pop down to your local rec (recreation ground) on a Saturday and Sunday and watch friends and parents roaring approval or screaming orders and abuse.

Why not set our goals to enjoy the spectacle, we can then admire the skills, win or lose, have a good time and experience regardless of the result.

I suspect that a lot of football fans become addicted to the brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins that effect happiness and are generated by what is happening on the pitch.

Of course we also have other neurochemicals such as norepinephrine or epinephrine and symptoms of too much of these chemicals can include:S

  • Fast or irregular heartbeat.
  • Sweating.
  • Severe headaches.
  • Shakiness.
  • Pale face.
  • High blood pressure .

And then we also have Adrenaline, Cortisol, Norepinephrine: The Three Major Stress Hormones that are behind the wide range of both physical and mental reactions that are in charge of adding fuel to the fire.